I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
