Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize