so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
whose ass print is on the piano?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize