she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize