Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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