You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
