maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
