I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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