You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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