What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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