he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
where are my eyebrows?
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