im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
