I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
