went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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