I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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