remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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