that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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