I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
