i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
