You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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