Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
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I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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