her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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