fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
