the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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