Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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