did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
