So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
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The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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