why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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