Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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