My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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