I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
