I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
