I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
