Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
