god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
