dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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