It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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