No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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