I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
