i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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