i permit you to call me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize