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• (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

  Fav 14 917 6586

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.

  Fav 7 3504 1529

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

  Fav 6 3218 1202

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.

  Fav 17 2611 1247

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.

  Fav 6 1890 1117

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?

  Fav 2 587 231

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.

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