Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before http://tfl.nu/ogqr
  Replies (5) Good night (2716) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so he'll probably take me somewhere nice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth (508): so he'll probably take me somewhere nice http://tfl.nu/ldxj
  Replies (80) Good night (2745) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths? http://tfl.nu/85c1
  Replies (3) Good night (3290) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home http://tfl.nu/u8cd
  Replies (8) Good night (3087) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take http://tfl.nu/rvcg
  Replies (13) Good night (2630) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo
  Replies (34) Good night (7571) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it http://tfl.nu/48wy
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (3361)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands. http://tfl.nu/945a
  Replies (8) Good night (1613) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart http://tfl.nu/gb8n
  Replies (6) Good night (1594) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something. http://tfl.nu/os86
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!? http://tfl.nu/7lwx
  Replies (8) Good night (472) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party

  (226): View more from Ontario

  But the music was sooo good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party (226): But the music was sooo good http://tfl.nu/zqls
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere http://tfl.nu/66bl
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (271)

Randomize