Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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