member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.