You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila