On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize