I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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