Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Even my vagina gasped.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
