I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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