I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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