bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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