The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
