Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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