What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
