sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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