I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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