hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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