Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize