Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize