it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
