i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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