her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
