Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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