Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
