Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
