I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
