are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize