I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
