i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
