Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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